It's right up there with death and taxes. Odds are, someday you will be cleaning out and selling a parent's home. How you handle this situation could impact your family enormously — will you end up staying a family or will you and your siblings never speak again?

Selling a parent's home can be a 10 out of 10 on the stress gauge. One of my clients suffered through shingles as part of the process! It's fraught with land mines and requires tons of perspective and insight. I've been there personally — my siblings and I sold my parents' home of 50 years — and professionally, as a Realtor helping many families through the process. Here's what I've learned:

Write down your goals. It's an emotional time. Vision can cloud if a few over-arching goals are not penned down and worked toward as a family. Hold a meeting with your siblings and parents (if they are able) and decide together on your goals. The investor in you might see the ROI potential of a "flip." But nerves are raw, there are lots of moving parts. This isn't a good time for major renovations. Cosmetic fixes can pay off, more substantial improvements generally do not. Keep it manageable. Isn't the point to get mom and dad to their new place, safe and sound?

Jeff Sirkot of Derry Township cleaned out his father's home on Long Island, New York. "Our goals ebbed and flowed," said Jeff, who worked through the project with his sister. "We thought we would sell, then we decided to keep the home. We painted, re-did the floors, then my sister decided to live and office there. We set goals but we were flexible. All of that just came through time and working together."

Find the right help. This includes movers, cleaners, real estate professionals, Good Samaritans, and good friends. Help can come in many forms.

"My sister had a friend with teenage boys," continued Jeff. "They rode their bikes over and helped us tremendously during the cleaning and hauling stage. First, we organized everything in the house with a quick sort. Then we picked the farthest corner of the house and worked from back to front, using a roll-off dumpster for the trash. Those boys were a godsend for us."

Regarding professional help, I've mentioned this before: Don't use a real estate professional just because she's your neighbor or your cousin's boyfriend. Interview. Ask questions. See if your personalities mesh. We interviewed a couple of agents when selling my parents' home in California and ticked off a longtime family friend in the process. It's not personal; it's business. We were adamant about finding the right person and it paid off; she sold the home and adjacent lot quickly and efficiently.
And we loved working with her.

Provide for the eventual. When a parent dies without a will, the assets pass to his or her heirs at law. When a parent dies with a will, the will is submitted to a probate court to officially declare who inherits the property. This saves time, misunderstanding, and a lengthy probate process. Revocable trusts or living trusts can also help avoid probate.

Before your parents pass, talk with them about financial matters.

Steven Werner, managing attorney at Werner Law Group in Hummelstown, says many heirs are surprised to find they owe taxes on their parents' home. This is a problem because payment of taxes doesn't necessarily coincide with the selling of the home.

"Inheritance taxes are due nine months after a death," says Steven, "and many times, real estate will be the source of these funds. The best thing any family can do is to prepare for all eventualities before a parent's death. Talking with an estate attorney will help alleviate many, many problems."

It's an honor to serve our parents in their time of need. By doing so, I can't guarantee you won't contract a viral infection accompanied by a painful rash, but if you have a plan, set goals and find the right help, your experience can be gratifying.

NOTE: On Saturday, Oct. 26, 1 p.m., at Traditions of Hershey, I will be hosting a free seminar on "How to Sell Your Parent's Home." Traditions of Hershey is located at 100 N. Larkspur Drive, Palmyra. All are invited. Light refreshments will be served. To reserve a seat, call program director Erika Marsh at 717-832-7304 or email me at evoyles@homesale.com.

Eileen S. Voyles is with Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Homesale Realty. She can be reached at 717-508- 4610 or evoyles@homesale.com.

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